Licking the turtle

Scientists at Cambridge University have discovered that licking a turtle slows the earth's rotation speed by 000000000000000.253 mph. This gravitational distortion is thought to increase fertility in laboratory mice therefore having a knock on effect in the productivity of small to medium sized shampoo manufacturers in North Wales UK.
Proffessor Mike Rotch was unavailable for comment.

CLIPPERFACE THE MOVIE

Shot entirely on videophone. Clipperface the movie is now available
online and will soon be available on DVD price $12.5 billion.
The mise en scène is set in New York in the year 2137. Our protagonist
deals with hate, poverty,rejection and a cruel addiction to those
metal clips you get in staples.

Clipper face

Q. What happens when you walk down 5th Avenue with a bunch of clips attached to your face?
A. New Yorkers think it's normality.

The i-banana

New York (Thursday 16th, 2006) – The launch of the iBanana a 4GB hard-drive based music player designed to challenge the market dominance of the iPod.
Light weight and banana sized, the device, which is being manufactured by Idiot sans savant of Ultimate Prosperity Electronics in Guangdong province China, is expected to capitalize on the burgeoning demand for natural products that’s been seen across a variety of product categories.
Slated to hit retail on Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year, analysts are already expecting it to light up the holiday shopping season.
“Frankly, we thought the combination of a solid-state music device and a potassium rich, fat free food was unbeatable.” said Stephen Rutterford, inventor of the iBanana.

military nerd

purple monkey nerd